Memories from Childhood
By Elempe Dele
Growing up in what can be qualified as a proper home, I still reflect on those times now I am making and gathering mine, not with the kind of success my parents did it in those days.
Homemaking was a serious business in those days, it was like knitting fabrics of life with exquite designs together. Homemaking as it used to be is now basically gone for several reasons but I wish not to dwell on the reasons. Rather, I wish to remember what it was like while growing up as a child – those years of pure innocence and bliss.
Homemaking was an act that constituted a very critical part of family life then. It was the system where parents and family created affection, compassion, warmth, beauty, laughter, music, stability and comfort for the children without much commas. Parents, especially mothers, took the act of homemaking and raising children seriously – the children were their life’s rhythm, blues and muse – everything. They carried them on their heads and shoulders and in their hearts.
Homemaking, from what I can still recall to memory, was more than feeding the children – it was about managing the children in the process of their growth and love. They entire household was a unit and general love and relationship between everyone was nurtured. Memories were built – there was time for gardening, egg gathering, toys, education, visitation, church, shopping…everlasting memories were built in pictures when the photographer will come on Sundays and everyone took turns to be exposed personally and in groups that would later be framed. There were also piles of albums that told stories of relatives, marriages, burials, anniversaries, meetings, school leaving, holidays and all such events.
While fathers made the money from their civil service work or white collar jobs, mothers made sure they fostered relationships at home by enabling that sense of belonging, even with members of the extended family. Everyone had a native name that was so natural and deep and family-like in nature. Without directions from fathers, mothers made sure the families were held together in bond. Mothers worked naturally behind the kids to see all these things are taken care of without stress but love.
Their good friends came around sometimes to drinks and pepper soup and music. They were doctors, teachers, permanent secretaries, office owners, gardeners, whites, nurses, store owners, asians, villagers, retirees…they were good people who spoke gently, laughed gently, walked gently, smiled gently, dressed gently, danced gently, talked gently…they never begged for anything they didnt have – they waited till the month end when they were paid or took loans from their workplaces.
Mothers, who essentially where the homemakers of those days, who had several skills on endurance, who had a lot of children and relatives to manage, were the actual totem poles that held families together. They supported the men at all times.
Perhaps and sadly, the art of homemaking is going out of fashion as it now seems bitter or sour to the tastebuds and the ear. We no longer talk at home. We no longer keep menus. We are drawn from the family due to economic downturns, work, technology, competitions and even the cravings for success.
The modern man and woman must go back to the art of homemaking again to bring love and beauty to our dying world. We must start to love again, we must start to care again, we must start to nurture our children before sending away to the darkened world. We must go back to creating homes where love and care are the spoken words, not because we must take bread and tea and eggs and hot dogs and butter…no, but because we must allow warmth that families are made of embrace us as it used to be in the good old days.
